Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Keeping It Casual

There are many things that influence and shape our every day lives. It could be talking to friends, watching your favorite TV show, or even something your professor lectured on in class. Many of the social media sites do more than just update you on what your friend is up to that day. It also is a method to provoking thought.

Today I was scrolling through my twitter feed waiting on the bus to arrive when I came across a tweet that kind of took me back. Now, before I go on, you have to know a few things about me first. I am one of those people who follow those stupid/funny twitter accounts. You know the ones, that have no original tweets but their context normally includes things like 'Reasons why I am Single', etc. I find my twitter feed to be mostly a form of entertainment more than a social media platform. With all of that being said, I do follow accounts such as TSM and College Town Life. 

One of the more recent accounts I decided to follow is one called "College Confessions". The premise of this account is basically an anonymous confession hub of college students from across the entire country. I found some of these confessions to be humorous and down right appalling, so for entertainment purposes I decided to follow them.

Everything was fine and funny until I ran across a tweet today that said "The best night of my freshman year was when I snorted a line of cocaine off of a girls ass - University of Wisconsin". I have heard some pretty crude things in my day but for whatever reason this one jumped out at me. I thought to myself, that is really sad if that was honestly the 'highlight' if your freshman year. Doing drugs and using a woman's body as a dehumanized sexual object.

Now this post isn't to talk about the drug part of it, which yes I do have a problem with recreational drug usage. It's dangerous and yadda, yadda, yadda, but we have all heard that preached to us many times before. What really made enough of an impact on me to write this post is the emphasis of this girls body. The phrase said 'a girls ass'. No description of who this young woman was, nothing about her intelligence (granted yes this was a tweet and you only have 140 characters) but I think you all are getting at my point.

It really made me realize how sexual our culture has become in this day and age. The fact that at least 30% of the entire internet is used for porn almost speaks for itself. As a sorority woman I like to take pride in my organization and think that we are a group of high class women who hold ourselves to a higher standard, but to be honest, when girls come back every night 'bragging' about the guy they hooked up with it is really hard for me to stand by that.

The fact that the media portrays college in general as this place where it is okay to have sex with multiple people doesn't sit well with me. Sure, as an incoming freshman that seemed great! So many people willing to hook up with you, that just sounds like a confidence booster waiting to happen. That is, until it actually does.

Now I'm not going to sit on my high horse and pretend like I am 'holier than thou'. I've had my fair share of hookups, maybe one or two guys I can't fully remember their names, and I definitely haven't been in a committed relationship every single time I have been with a guy. But I can say these things and talk about this, because I don't want to be that person anymore.

The media brainwashes us into thinking that is alright. That 'everyone is doing it' so it makes it ok. In fact, they make it seem fun! How great does it sound to have sex with someone without the emotion that a relationship brings! Right? Wrong. So wrong.

Now I'm not trying to make anyone feel badly about themselves. If you think that is fun and good and you can have sex with a stranger and tell me straight to my face that it doesn't affect your emotions in a negative way whatsoever, then good for you. You have mastered college and the art of the casual hook up. But I believe that for many of us, that is not the case.

Young women go into the realm of college thinking that if they hook-up with this random person then they will be happy, because that is what every college person does. When in fact, not every college person does do that. It is a false idea that has been pushed into our brains by the media. Everyone thinks that it is cool and normal to have tons of sex all of the time, but really it's not.

Not to get all biblical on you, but the troubles and tribulations throughout college has really allowed me to realize that, as the bible says, sex is only meant to be between one man and one woman. It's purpose is procreation. If we are using it for other reasons, such as pleasure, it is just messing with our minds. Because having sex with someone tells our subconscious that yes - I would like to make babies with this person. You may laugh at that statement, and I have to admit I chuckled a little, but it's true! That's why the saying 'sex bonds people' is a real thing! Your brain is saying that you want that person to be a parent of your future child, therefore you start to think of that person in a different way. You start getting attached. That is why sex cannot be a 'casual' thing. In the end someone always ends up getting hurt.

So please, do yourself a favor and wait until he 'puts a ring on it' or at least makes some kind of commitment. Girls, guys think that they can get away with this casual sex thing because we let them! If we buckle down and get them to realize that they can't get their way until they commit to you, I guarantee there would be a whole lot less assholes in the universe and a bunch more 'good guys'. So if not for you, do it for the betterment of the other sex. Because ladies, if we're being completely honest here, they tend to think with their penises - let their brains get a little action once in a while.

Until next time,

Casey Rose