It Takes Two

Over Easter this past weekend I was home for a couple of days enjoying the break with my family. My Grandpa, who lives 3 hours away, had recently been released from the hospital after having a stroke. No worries, he's doing just fine, but with this hospital visit also came concerned family wanting to see their recovering family member.

Since most of my family lives up north it's quite a trek for them to make it down to North Carolina just to see someone for a day or two, so most of my family makes a trip out of it. With my immediate family living the closest out of all my relatives to my grandparents we often get to see the rest of the family when they are in town visiting them.

This past weekend my Uncle came down to visit along with his new fiancee. They visited my Grandpa for a day and then spent the night at our house and celebrated Easter with us in the morning. This was the first time I had ever met his fiancee and it felt a little weird at first. Don't get me wrong, she was a very nice lady (and she could keep up with our jokes, which is always a huge plus), but there was something about her that just didn't sit right with me.

I tend to think of myself as a very naive and optimistic person. I like to see the good in others and often am disappointed or shocked when they prove me otherwise; I guess I just want to believe, deep down, that people are innately good. This also affects my views on marriage. With the divorce rate now being over 50% in this country, the realist would just assume that marriage is doomed to fail. Well, Casey being the optimist, is shocked whenever I hear that a marriage is failing. I could write and entire post about how I reacted when I heard my ex-boyfriend's parents were splitting up, but that is a story for another day.

My whole life growing up I always referred to my Aunt's and Uncle's together. This was also a memory tactic since my mom and dad were both 1 of 7 children. We had Aunt Peggy and Uncle Sean, Uncle Paul and Aunt Rhonda, and Uncle Matt and Aunt Faith. Now, Matt being the uncle who stayed with us this past weekend, I had always associated him with Aunt Faith. It was my memory tactic and also probably my way of validating their relationship. But what happens when that couple gets divorced? Then what?

I am so fortunate to have two loving parents who have now been married for 27 years. They have shown me in so many ways how to make a marriage work and what it truly means to love another person. I think that is why my idea if marriage is so skewed. I thought process is, 'If my parents can do it, why can't everyone else?'. But I guess life doesn't work that way. Not all couples are meant to be like my parents are.

And I think that relates directly back to my earlier post about soul mates. I like to assume, again being naive, that you only marry a person you are meant to be with. But I think that's why most marriages fail. They don't marry the person they are 'meant' to be with. They settle for something that feels good in the moment, but don't think about the future. They go for a feeling, not an instinct. When did people stop using their heads and only follow their hearts? 

To make things work in this world there needs to be an even mix of both. You obviously have to love one another to start, but it takes more than that. You both have to be completely sure this is the person you want to clean up after when one of you can't hold your bladder any longer. You may laugh, but does this really cross your mind when you say "I do"?

I obviously have no experience on the matter, but my theory has always been this: You can marry just about anyone, as long as you are determined to make it work. And I mean, really determined. You obviously have to love the person, but when the times get tough those are the times you must stick by your spouse. They don't just pull 'for better or for worse' out of their asses, they mean it.

So sorry new lady for initially not liking you. I just have a hard time accepting that people actually get divorced. I also have a hard time coming to accept that this time will be different. Because if it were really 'different' this time, why couldn't you have made it work the first time?

Alright, I'm off my soap box. This was a darker post that really ended up going right into the deep end and practically drowned in it. Ha, sorry for the depressing post. I'm just a little jaded right now. No worries though, happy posts with be sure to come in the future!

Until next time,

Casey Rose

Christmas Tradition

Tradition (noun): the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way. 

Holidays are all about tradition. Tradition is what makes everything you do special. It carries on throughout the years to make memories even more memorable and cherished.

Every family has their special holiday traditions, I am here to tell you mine.

Christmas is always a time to look forward to in my household. It is normally comprised of just my immediate family at my house in North Carolina. I know in years past we may have had other company from our extended family, but for the most part it has just been us at our house.

Every Christmas Eve is pretty much the same. Our family is Catholic and so it is tradition that we go to Christmas mass. We normally go to the 5:30 mass at our local high school (our parish is so big that they have overflow masses at this location). After this is over we help clean up the gym where mass is held because everything has to be taken down as it is the last service of the night.

We then like to go home and get dinner started. Because of how formal our Christmas Day dinner is, we like to keep Christmas Eve very casual. We normally order chicken fingers or wings of some kind from a local restaurant and we always have pigs in a blanket. If you are not aware of what these are you are seriously missing out, they're just mini hotdogs wrapped in crescent rolls - delicious. When we are eating our dinner it is not a 'sit down' style that we normally do. It is more of a buffet, where we grab what we want and go eat in the living room where our tree and television is kept.

After dinner we proceed with opening gifts. These are the gifts from family. As we have grown older our extended family hasn't sent us many presents; but normally presents from extended and immediate family members are opened tonight. The way we open gifts is from youngest to oldest, or vice a versa. One member of the family is chosen to be 'Santa', aka wear the Santa hat and distribute gifts to everyone...that person is almost always me.

Once we are finished opening all presents we proceed to watching our yearly movies. It is either all or a couple of the following three. First, SNL Christmas DVD (the one that was released in 1999). Secondly we have It's a Wonderful Life, I know that this is a very popular movie with a lot of families during Christmas time. And lastly we have Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas, that is a hilarious movie that is entirely puppets directed by Jim Henson; it's not really meant to be hilarious but we find it to be pretty funny.

After all or a couple of the movies are watched we go to bed. At this time, and especially when we were younger, this is where Santa comes. The rule is, the first person to wake up wakes up the entire family and we all get our robes on and wait at the top of the stairs, in order from youngest to oldest, and we all walk down stairs together to see what Santa had brought us the night before.

Once Mom and Dad have fixed their cups of tea and everyone is settled in the living room around the tree, my mom becomes 'Santa' and hands out the gifts that Santa had brought us. Once all of the presents are open the day is filled with playing with our new toys. At the end of the day we have a more formal dinner to celebrate Christmas.

And that is it! The Salchert family's Christmas tradition. So tell me, what special traditions does your family have during holidays?

Merry Christmas!

Until next time,

Casey Rose

Giving Thanks

In my opinion, Thanksgiving is one of the most important holidays of the year. Not only is it a time to reconnect with family and friends that you may not have seen in a while, eat delicious food, and watch countless hours of dog shows and football games. Thanksgiving is a day centered around giving thanks for the things that you have in your life.

I would definitely classify my family as 'well off'. No, we aren't super rich, but we do live a very comfortable life style. Throughout the year I come across many different classes of people in my every day life. Thanksgiving is the one day of the year that I am forced to collect my memories from the past year and reflect on how good I really have it.

Sure there are times in your life where everything does not go according to your plan, but ultimately, and I believe this with all my heart, everything happens for a reason. All of your experiences shape you into the person you are meant to become.

So here goes, what I am the most thankful for this year...

1. My sorority - While there were ups and downs this year I am extremely thankful for the sorority I have become apart of. First off, I am thankful that my parents are able to afford such an organization. That in itself is not a cheap 'hobby'. I am also thankful that his year I was able to serve on my chapters executive board as the Vice President of Membership. Through the experiences that this position has presented to me has really made me grow as a person and helped guide me in the direction I want to take my life. I have learned that I love people, sure they get on your nerves sometimes, but overall I love the company people give. I never want a job that requires me to work alone, I love interacting with people and getting their ideas on things. I think everyone on this planet is special and has something unique to bring to the table. I have found through VPM that I want to work with people, whether that is being a full time mother or working in a business that allows me to be in contact with people on a daily basis. And also, the most important part of my sorority experience, I am most thankful for the friendships I have gained. If I had not joined this organization my life would be completely different than it is now. I would be friends with completely different people, and not saying that it would be a bad thing, but I am so thankful for the women I do have in my life. It's cliche to say that you join a sorority to find your bridesmaids, but that's exactly what I've found. A bridesmaid, to me, is a person who is one of your closest friends. Someone who has been with you through the ups and downs of life and always supports you no matter what. This is what I have found in this group of women, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
   
2. Volleyball - This sport has always been my biggest passion. I started playing at a young age and I never imagined the opportunities it would present me with. It was something that allowed me to meet my best friend. It gave me a constant, fun, work out routine throughout the past few years. And it now has given me my current job. I was the head coach for a local middle school this past season and I am now assistant coaching for a local club team this season. I am so thankful for this coaching opportunity, it has given me a job that I look forward to going to every day. Because as a wise man once said, "Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
   I also am thankful for all of my players. They may not know this, but they have helped me grow more than they could ever imagine. Coaching is such a different experience than playing, and it has actually made me a better player. It has also allowed me to sharpen my leadership skills and has taught me a whole bunch of patience. Those are things that are irreplaceable.
   
3. Heartbreaks - This one may seem odd at the start but bare with me. I am thankful for the biggest heartbreaks I have ever gone through. The first one this year was when my boyfriend and I broke up over the summer. While it was extremely hard, and it still is to this day, I am thankful for the experience. It has made me grow as a person, reflecting on that relationship and seeing how I can be a better girlfriend in the future. You learn something from every experience you go through and without that experience I would have most likely done the same thing with the next guy I dated. But I reflected, saw what needed work, and vowed to myself that I will be different the next go-around. I am also thankful for heartbreak because it means I found love. Not everyone can say they have experienced that and for me to have found it at such a young age, well I consider myself very lucky. Love opens your eyes in a very different way, something that is very hard to explain, but once you've felt it you know what I mean. 
   The second heart break I experienced this year was the loss of my dog, Rosey. She was the greatest dog in the world and losing her opened my eyes to how precious life is. We got her when I was in second grade and for me to be able to see her life progress from a puppy to an elderly dog and then transitioning to death is something not everyone gets to experience. 
   The last heartbreak I wish to share from this year is when I did not get my dream position of Chapter President. This is something new that I have not shared on this blog before. I have had my heart set on the position of Chapter President for a while now and when slating season came around for the new executive council, I was not slated. While this is extremely hard to get over and come to terms with, in fact I still am not completely over it, it has made me realize that I have a lot more growing to do. If I was ready, I would have gotten slated, but the fact that I wasn't proved to me that I have a lot more to work on. So, again everything is a learning experience, I will reflect on the reasons I did not get it and use that to better myself for future endeavors. The fact that I was even in the running to be considered for the position speaks volumes in itself and for that opportunity I am still very grateful.
   
4. My loved ones - I know everyone uses this one and it may seem super cliche, but I am so thankful for the people I have in my life. It is so hard to find true friends and I am so thankful that I have. They have been with me through the ups and the downs and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I honestly wouldn't be alive today without them. This may seem a little extreme but it's true. The same goes for my family. I have the most loving family I could have ever asked for. I have a mother and father would I could go to for anything and love me unconditionally. I have a great relationship with both of my brothers, something that not a lot of people can say they have. So thank you friends and family, for making my life even more worth while.

I could go on and on at all of the things in my life I am thankful for, but that would just be a nightmare to read. So for now those are my Top 4. I am truly blessed and wouldn't change anything in my life. I know not a lot of people can't say that and actually mean it.

Last, and most certainly not least, I am thankful for you! If you have gotten through this entire post I am so thankful :) It was a long one and I really appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to read what I have to say.

So, enough about me, what are you thankful for?

Until next time,

Casey Rose